Hello little buns, it is Stef welcome back to my home I have some NEWS for you, do i ever? It’s been a long time since I’ve done an estrogen update and I kind of figured that after a year, the changes would really slow down and I wouldn’t see as much, things would sort of flat line and um, something actually happened to me when I underwent facial feminisation surgery, which I have a video about you can check out here, there is a link and there’s also a link in the description box I had to go off of hormones for 3 weeks so I had to go off them 2 weeks before surgery and then I had to stay off them until I could move and be active enough that it wouldn’t cause problems with my blood and thats because the testosterone blockers that I take or pretty much any testosterone blocker thins out your blood it alters your blood in some way it makes it harder for your body to heal and I had to give my body every single chance, like you know, every single thing I could to make it heal better and during those 3 weeks chemically, like on paper, like when they measured my hormones when I got back I actually had as much testosterone in my blood as I did before I started the treatment so my estrogen was a little, it was barely affected, but my testosterone was majorly spiking and that got me really really down in the dumps and for a long time I was not a happy person one of the most important and biggest changes that I had experienced under hormone replacement therapy was my happiness and my mental health improved so much and then after I got back I knew I felt better, my face, I was so happy with the results and everything but I felt bad something was heavy on my shoulders and it’s actually quite comforting for me to know it was a chemical imbalance and that it wasn’t something I was dealing with that was harder to solve you know what I mean so its been about 3 or 4 months, 4 or 5 months even since my surgery and my hormones are back at a level where I am content with and I feel good and not even just cause I know the numbers but because my mind is healthier when I have the right hormone in my body which is estrogen and theres a couple theres 2 things in particular that have really started to grow in these past couple of weeks and that is my breasts which hurt and are so sore and i mean it’s it’s aghh theres a lot of tissue and growth in here and um its makes me happy and my hair is also growing differently I’m just going to grab my handy dandy mirror I am noticing around the area where people experience “male patterned baldness” right where your hairline recedes on the sides here my hairlines growing lower I have these new baby hairs a little brown hair growing right here which is a good half inch lower than my hairline and I’m like okay I’m gonna see what happens its not something that other people would really notice at first glance but its something that I’m noticing because I was, I don’t know, I look at my face closely and I have to pluck my eyebrows or whatever and I see it and I’m like oh that’s gross that I’m growing hair on my forehead and then I’m like no that’s actually a normal place where people grow hair its just that maybe my hairline is lowering and that got me excited and I don’t know if that’s something that other people really examine or noticed on their body and maybe it’s something that doesn’t actually do a lot maybe it’s just a few hairs here and there that people experience either way it’s new, it’s new for me and I think it’s directly related to estrogen that’s just my opinion I’m not a doctor I don’t know but that’s how i feel my skin is really beautiful, I love my skin, I really do right now it feels – it’s so soft everywhere. everywhere is so soft my face in particular okay, so I had to stop laser hair removal before I left for surgery because my skin had to not have a certain amount of scar tissue or something I had not – I had to stop laser 6 weeks before before I left while I was gone I did a lot of research on laser and everything and I realized that the place that was doing my laser maybe wasn’t giving me the best service like they were very nice to me but the results that I was experiencing were very slow so I decided to hold off and look for a new provider of laser hair removal so in terms of my face and facial hair I haven’t seen my results reverse I still have about 2/3 of what I use to have but I still, it’s not gone yet because I’ve actually put pause on it I am however, seeing a, a new service. A new treatment place this month. And I’m very excited about it And I’m actually going to get my entire body lasered the fuck off so it’s going to be quite, empt, exciting for me And we’re just gonna see what happens And I will actually do a dedicated video series or video on that when the time comes. But for now my facial hair and my body hair, pretty standard, but like much softer than it was before treatment, definitely. The reason I brought that up though is my face, my skin feels so good and my skin is actually quite, quite, quite beautiful But I noticed. Like I usually have this idea that I have bad skin, You know what I mean? But the only reason I think that is because of the redness and the irritation that I still experience from removing the hair on my face everyday. And so it’s like, comforting to me to understand that and to know that the hormones are doing great things for my skin That makes me happy So you can look forward to that I guess Body shape, ooh girl, stuff is going. Stuff is going I actually was looking at, I was looking at old pictures of me when I was a kid And I, I thought that my rib cage was large because because of male based puberty like testosterone puberty, right But my rib cage was large before puberty I just had a big ass rib cage And so I’m feeling actually much better about my rib cage I don’t have a desire to weight strain anymore Because I’m like this is just the shape of my body Why am I doing this to myself? It’s just my body, like whatever So my dysphoria around my rib cage is like gone. I don’t experience it anymore but, um, I’m noticing too, my hips and my butt are kinda filling out a lot, my butt is fat and it’s not like big, it’s not like – I haven’t had my pump done yet, and I’m going to. Ok? I’m being very honest with you, I am most likely going to get, to get stuff in my hips and butt but, I haven’t yet and I’m noticing that they’re filling out differently and it’s it’s kinda nice I am not a skinny “skinny” girl, I might look kind of like – my proportions are like that but, I hear girls my height being like “oh my god, like, I’m 115 pounds, ugh” and I’m like “girl I’m 160 pounds, do you wanna fight me?” You know what I mean? and I mean I feel like I have a degree of like “skinny privilege” I’m not saying that I don’t experience that But, I’m like a, I’m like somewhat heavy for my size For somebody that isn’t very large, I’m pretty heavy So, I was like “Where is all that where is all that weight? Like where it is? And I think it’s, it was in my shoulders and my arms which are much smaller than they used to be, by the way, after a year and a half on estrogen and I feel like it’s traveling down to my glutes and my buttocks. which might be the same thing, I’m not sure Either way, my body shape is definitely changing and I – I said something like that like one month on estrogen I was like “Oh stuff is really happening, I noticed that I have hips” and I was like, I did not. I so didn’t have hips but when you start, and you’re early on estrogen, or any hormone I guess, anything like this You’re gonna see things that aren’t really there, and it’s ok I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be happy about those things because those placebo things are what made me feel really good in the beginning And there might’ve been a small difference, like in terms of measurements – there might be You know? But, at a year and a half, I can really see the difference and all In photographs, in videos, in the mirror. If you’re early on estrogen and you’re still like “ok like, why aren’t things happening?” Just, be patient. Time is fickle, ok? And the more time that passes in your life, the more you’re going to wish it would slow the fuck down. Even if you’re waiting for your hips to fill out, I promise. Because shit is crazy, ok? I’m getting existential fear because time is going too quickly. So just relax, enjoy the slow process, ok? That is everything for today, I believe. If you have any questions about my development, a year and a half on estrogen, please let me know in the comments. If there’s anything that I did not answer here, anything that surprised me, or anything that I found interesting that’s a question or whatever, whatever. I will answer it, I will get back to you in the comments, as many as I possibly can. I love you guys so much, thank you so much for supporting me and sticking with me all this time. I know that you guys, a lot of you actually, came to me for the estrogen updates and the transition updates And I haven’t been doing as many of them lately I apologize, it’s – I kinda got it in my head, that I was like, I don’t know, over it? But I’m not, I’m really not. And I want you guys to stick around and I want I want to share my life with you. So, I hope that you start watching my other content too. Because, I have a lot to share with you other than my body and the way that it changes Anyways, I will see you again soon, I love you so much until next time just remember that you are a fem&m, you are an estrogen pill, unless you don’t wanna be Be whatever you want. But that’s what I feel like you are right now in this moment, ok? I love you so much, Bye!