In my seminars the last few years I have
covered what I have found to be those few simple basic principles that can
make major changes in life and lifestyle one of those subjects that gets the most
comment is diseases of attitude and out of that subject worry and how to kick
the worry habit have caused the most questions so in this brief visit with
you let me give you my best look at worried how to recognize it and define
it and what to do about it and hopefully these ideas will give you
a good chance for confidence over worry first of all worry might well be killer
number one and if it is not the number one physical killer although doctors
tell us warriors die sooner than non warriors and we have all heard the
expression worry yourself to death at least it is the number one killer of
dreams and achievement of energy and vitality and lifestyle I know the damage
and effect of this killer worry firsthand I will spare you the details
but over a period of some three years I let worry get out of hand as I’ve
mentioned before I became a super worrier I was good at it the combination
of small and big worries about my circumstances what people thought of me
my finances my abilities the future my progress all led to a complete physical
collapse a stay in the hospital emotional mental and physical exhaustion
and a deep despair I couldn’t shake a sad picture for a young man who should
have been well on his way to carving out his share of opportunity I am happy to
tell you that good fortune came my way and as many of you may be aware I met a
man mr. Earl show with his ideas and inspiration and the help of a very close
friend I worked my way past the minefields of
worry and disaster and out into the clear air of mental sunshine and if I
did it anybody can do it I’m not saying it’s easy it took me almost a full year
to kick the worry habit it’s a practice and much effort but it was well worth it
remember don’t ask for the tasks to be easy just ask for it to be worth it
don’t wish it was easier wish you were better don’t ask for less challenge ask
for more skills don’t ask for less problems ask for more wisdom it’s the
challenge that makes the experience and life and its color and meaning and
adventure for you is this collection of experiences to wish them away is to wish
your life away so let’s get to worry and what it is and what it does how to
define it and what to do about it and let’s do it with eager high hope
that it won’t be long until you will be free of the worry habit and on your way
to the life and lifestyle that you want first of all let’s define worry there
are many ways we could describe it worry is fear painting pictures in your mind
and if you watch that mental movie too long you get a false picture of how
things really are worry is a mental broadcasting station
and more often than not it is false or at least distorted propaganda worry has
that sneaky way of stopping short of giving you all the facts worry is often
the trickery of mentally filtered backs on the negative side and the bold
declaration that these are all the facts worry has the mental audacity to suggest
that the elevator only runs one way down many times worry is a 5 alarm bell for a
wastebasket fire and worry is a depletion of constructive emotion it’s
wasted mental energy it’s like letting the starter run the
battery down when the car won’t start and worry is most often a lack of all
the facts a lack of full understanding a lack of total information and an
unpreparedness of ability knowledge talent courage faith and all the other
virtues that should give us a better definition of worry and remember left
unchecked it can become like a mad dog loose in the house and the sorrow and
pain and regret is too large a price to pay not to do something about it and to
do it now you see if you contemplated the total sum of human suffering long
enough it would drive you mad you must understand how life is human suffering
man’s inhumanity to man war disease poverty but it must be in what I call
its rightful ratio of your mental and emotional time so much for what worry is
the next question is what can I do about it
what is the first step my best advice on this is to first recognize worry for
what it is admit what it does and then decide you
now want to be free it first starts with decision on your part and may I add well
you should decide why let worry continue to take money out of your pocket and
bank account why let worry any longer keep you from becoming all you can be
why let it rob you of better friendships better business better profits better
results better communication better family relations why impose your worry
on others any longer it’s a burden you can get rid of and a monkey you can get
off your back why not be rid of those thinking nagging feelings that all is
not going to be well that you can’t do it that it won’t work out for the best
worry is undue concern that takes up too much of your mental and
time now we must all be concerned hey life is no joke except to the Joker’s
life and how to live it is a serious matter it is risky full of peril and
there are constant threats to the good we want and to the pursuit of happiness
however it is undue concern or a concern that takes up too much mental time that
begins the harm it’s like a family planning a wonderful trip while they
certainly should be concerned about the condition of the car the tires and
making sure they pick the proper route it would be foolish to allow themselves
to be completely turned negative with the thought that they might crash and
kill the entire family if that were the case even if they went the entire trip
would be turned into one nightmare of fear with the specter of chaos looming
around every curve rather than enjoying the wonderful trip they had planned for
themselves and their family a lot of people do that with their entire life so
start to make these declarations and if you mean it they will start you on your
way to confidence and adventure free of the worry habit say first I’ve had it
with worry I am tired of being beaten down and hassled with all those negative
mental pictures I refuse to be tricked by false facts
I’m really not that weak never again do I want those sick
feelings inside those mental false alarms I am tired of the drain on my
resources I’m tired of the embarrassment of the
lack of confidence I don’t want people especially my family to see me in this
state anymore I’ve got more to offer I refuse to let
my life be short-circuited any longer by letting my mind run wild with a
distorted view of the facts whether I bring it up or if I comes from someone
else prove it to yourself think back over all
the things that you worried about all the fantastic catastrophic events that
your well-meaning advisers had told you were going to happen be pleased that
none of them ever happened to you or else you would not be alive today 90% of
the things you worried about never happen anyway all of us have had these
well-meaning advisers who want to appear larger in the eyes of those they wish to
advise and who immediately rare back and described every single bad option they
can think of that might possibly happen by the time they have finished the one
who has come for some confidence and some help wonders why he even bothers to
live anymore and the fact is those things are never really going to happen
anyway bring to question now what your mind tells you or what others tell you
and pledge not to go for false alarms I’ve had it is a good beginning this
first step will start you arguing with your worried thoughts soon you will
start to examine your fears and worries to see if they are valid and you won’t
let your mind play those mental tricks any longer it is possible to destroy any
emotion you have including worry and fear by a very simple process and that
is analyze it to death drag it out on the table and look at it weigh it
against all of your past experiences make sure this one can stand against all
the past facts you have you will now start to use worry instead of letting
worry use you it’s a beginning being in control instead of out of control
you will now let concern and the first signs of worry prompts you to learn ask
questions and look at all sides in order to evaluate true positive constructive
action now you can say I will let fear advise
me of the facts but I won’t let fear tell me these are all the facts nor will
I let fear determine my reactions to the facts I will gladly take up the war of
faith over doubt reason over fear and positive expectation over words so talk
to yourself right now into a change of attitude be persuasive go all out
show yourself the hell if you don’t and the good life of answers and progress if
you do say to yourself what a fantastic feeling it must be to stop the panic
drain on my mental energy emotion and physical strength imagine putting all
that saved energy and emotion and strength into my action plans for the
good life hey accept the challenge believe your beliefs doubt your doubts
stay on the campaign to give worried a bad time like being your own
conscientious judge say I’ve had it with the presentation of a one-sided story I
sustained the objection that worry has failed to bring out all the facts I
despise these mental courtroom maneuvers that try to belittle my client me I
demand the whole truth and if worry will not be silent I may cite him for
contempt of the court of reason call up that scene often when worry wants to
hassle you with the same old tricks and the same old results it will work every
time okay let’s move on to some really positive steps if you can survive all
that has happened to you up to this moment in your life in spite of doing
and thinking many of the wrong things imagine how you can succeed by now
starting to do some of the right things first the best answer to worry is
confidence and confidence starts for with awareness here is one of the most
important lessons in life to learn life and business is like the changing
seasons and the real challenge of life is to learn how to handle the winter and
take advantage of the spring in short that’s it
you see winter always comes but so does the spring night follows day but also
day follows night sure the tide goes out but it always comes in opportunity
follows difficulty as surely as difficulty follows opportunity I have
written and recorded much on how to take advantage of the spring how to cash in
on life’s opportunities work hard all summer learn more ways to plant and
protect what you invest and to reap in the fall without complaint knowing it’s
your harvest then you’ve reaped what you’ve sown for this subject however
let’s talk about how to handle the winters those times when worry like
winter takes its heavy toll so we tell it like it is winter always comes so
does the night some happenings in our life will always be a cause for concern
and sometimes concern turns to worry and worry turns to fear but remember that is
to be expected each day each event each season brings both expected and
unexpected challenges that we must think about and make decisions on life is like
a stream that flows continuously the better we understand that the better
chance we have to produce good results out of all of our challenges may I
suggest something to you I have a friend who is an avid skier you know something
he can only ski in the winter time you can only hunt the elk when the snow
falls in the high mountains and drives them down that’s called winter time you
see it’s alright if it’s 12 below just be prepared for the winter
and here is a good thought a full well devote developed human being will find a
way to take advantage of the winter not just handle it the big challenge is to
make something out of each opportunity now if winters are always going to occur
in our life shouldn’t we benefit from them to come the next winter you could
be on the inside looking out seated by a warm fire the company of a good friend
and those unique feelings of security in spite of the circumstances or the season
begin to know now that the night will pass and as you learn to grow and
progress you will better understand how to handle every night and better live
every day here’s some of the best advice I have on worry first don’t be afraid to
face the facts of life it is not negative to understand that the winters
always come don’t be faked out don’t clip the word impossible out of the
dictionary sure the Bible says all things are possible but I don’t really
understand all that means my daughter’s asked me have you ever tried putting
toothpaste back in the tube don’t say I don’t want to hear the problem I don’t
want to see the difficulty don’t show me the weeds don’t say anything negative
only see the positive that’s foolish there is a thin line between positive
thinking and kidding yourself and remember there’s also a thin line
between faith and folly here is the key humans have the unique
ability to see it as it is and they also have the ability to see it better than
it is one is called fact the other is called faith faith you develop facts you
acquire the facts you acquire our essential
it’s like belief you constantly must find facts to support your belief faith
says I will move mountains it doesn’t say I will move mountains if someone
gives me a bulldozer I’ll move a mountain if they will build me a road up
there if the weather’s nice if they give me a shovel faith just says I will move
mountains faith doesn’t ask for a result to prove its existence faith is because
it is and remember people died for faith and some people give up everything they
own their life for faith many years ago over in Vietnam a Buddhist monk did a
very clever thing he did the ultimate in political dissent he burned himself to
death that toppled the government that was faith totality begets totality here
is a good prayer help me to see it as it is and helped me to see it better than
it is and then inspire me to act
Faxon faith and action what a combination for personal progress and
actions with sphere to flight an old testament phrase says watch the end you
sluggard consider their ways and be why not a bad suggestion the study of ants
what do they do in the summer to prepare for the winter
that’s a lesson in life and survival happiness wealth peace security success
HD friendship reward results and all human achievement comes from a growing
ability to understand and handle the changing season and so we come right
back to the theme of our entire Enterprise self-development learn to
work harder on yourself than anything else the key to all success in economics
or mental health is self-development it will all change for the better when you
change for the better it’s what you become that really counts and you are
the only variable so a good statement is you can’t be all positive you can’t be
all confident you can’t be all faith but confidence and faith and courage and
inspiration can dominate worry and fear physical and emotional forces are always
at work and something will win and conquer make sure you give yourself the
best chance to get mental and emotional domination over all of your challenges
and here is one of the master keys to the good life developing the
intelligence and accepting the challenge of putting all of your emotional
experience into their rightful ratio beginning this progress can bring about
the most dramatic changes you see disappointment is like winter it always
comes it is foolish to say don’t be disappointed but you must learn to
discipline your disappointment if it dominates 51% of your time you’re
in trouble continued heavy disappointment is like
12 months of winter and 12 months of winter leaves very little alive use the
guidelines of seasons to adjust to all the meaningful things that happen to you
so concern fear and disappointment like many human emotions serve a useful
purpose as long as they are kept in their rightful ratio left unattended the
weeds take over disappointment rules worry breaks loose fear gets the upper
hand and doubt moves in but managed worked given human action with will and
knowledge and purpose and Gardens overcome weeds faith overcomes doubt and
confidence pushes worry into a small place the second major key to mastering
worry is to respond build up inside of you that heavy desire to be free to get
on with building your life and lifestyle too much is waiting to delay take a new
look at your opportunities figure out new ways to seize them immediately and
make them work for you and here is a key bring a new dedication that you will
master yourself with enough discipline to be more than qualified to do the
present job and prepare yourself for the next move up expose yourself to every
stimulation possible that will put all this in perspective now let’s move on to
a very important point and that is the best answer to worry is confidence first
self-confidence I can better handle next winter
I have a strong shelter it is stocked with supplies I now know how to take
advantage of the spring I’m going to plant better crops and bigger crops I
can last through the summer I won’t quit this time
I’ll study weeds and how to get rid of them I’ll be less frightened of the
changing weather in the quick storms in the fall I will exercise more care and
reap what I have without complaint and blame nothing for the amount of my
harvests I’ll learn to save a fair portion so that I can survive the bad
seasons when out of control the hailstorm comes and it all goes wrong
now we must consider this the most fatal deterrent to self confidence is guilt
not doing all you know how to do to the full extent of your present ability
weakens the foundation for confidence the biggest part of worry comes from the
lack of this personal confidence and lack of confidence comes from two major
things first no goals are planned and second no daily discipline to achieve
the in action to cure or handle small tasks is what starts the guilt process
and that always tends to make you look at what’s wrong and expect the worst so
listen to the voices of creative experience let nature experience wisdom
books everything speak to you and teach you remember both opportunity and
challenge await action everything yields to diligence it’s not what you can do
it’s what you will do that counts an undeveloped ability comes from three
problems first lack of inspiration to find out second lack of reasons to learn
and third lack of applied time and action for developing those ability
remember humans are remarkable a marvelously functioning entity imagine
how uniquely your body and mind have survived and managed to function in
spite of all the worry humans don’t die easy they die hard
develop a plan for your life rather than aimlessly drifting through it the victim
of circumstance create your own environment and learn to control it
you control your own mental environment by developing yourself so go on a crash
program to clean up decisions get things done get other things set up and started
and organized start doing all the things that would make you feel better exercise
diet reading more books open a floodgate of positive moves in the right direction
and be thankful add up what you do have make an actual as well as a conscious
mental list of all you possess tangible as well as intangible in view of the
four billion other inhabitants of the world yours is probably an incredible
list that list and being thankful should then lead to the big depth of discipline
the discipline to sit up and listen the discipline to pay attention the
discipline to give people and kids the gift of your attention the discipline to
be alert take care of yourself rest eat properly the discipline to talk well and
practice good manners courtesy is contagious
take one day and see what a variety of positive steps you can take and projects
you can take on at the end of the day go over it write out the positive steps the
progress on projects the rest the exercise the meals the hobbies called
record conversations and letters and speaking of calls and letters write at
least one encouraging letter or thank-you note and make at least one
encouraging phone call or thank-you call every week then have a friend help you
as one helped me to get all the facts and prepare for action from such a
friendship the greatest gift you can draw is the truth – one of my dearest
friends I said just the other day as my friend do me the one best thing you can
do for me and that is tell me the truth from there I can grow I can start making
wise decisions we all admire poised confident awareness
courtesy good manners courage health kindness attention Beauty speech
expression and unhurried intensity and talent at work this can be your life say
with me today today I will draw on all I’ve learned and practiced from
curiosity to confidence and I will utilize it all to meet the experiences
and challenges that may come my way or that I may seek out and if all I know
and do does not meet or match some unforeseen challenge or experience I
will keep careful notes and take them to my private conference table and try to
figure them out and learn and grow mixed in my curiosity as thanks that I’m alive
and able to see and feel and learn and handle and enjoy being human and being
alive and having been given a chance to turn challenge in
to experience how great to have a mind to expand and a soul to nourish to have
hands that can feel a heart that can experience a mind that can enquire and
learn a soul that can soar a body that can respond to know love sadness hope
disappointment accomplishment failure thrills terror appreciation bafflement
wonder awe frustration misery confidence courage contentment impatience
expectation apprehension fulfillment music sound pictures art beauty and
harmony to have all this happen to one is one thing to know it is all happening
is much more I wish for you that you might develop a growing awareness of the
world around you and your possibilities in it develop a sense of history and
destiny and be grateful for the opportunity that you have to participate
in that grand endeavor to sum it all up first understand what where he is you
now know that it can be beneficial and destructive depending on your awareness
next resolve to be free of the habit that job is up to you to work on
yourself to get the right attitude next start the daily action of first cleaning
up all your current situations remember little achievements lead to confidence
that conquers guilt then by up every challenge to reach your goals
you can now handle it the winter the spring the harvest bring a new zeal to
every problem to every fear to every opportunity the inspiration from it all
and the immediate and future progress that will someday give you a view from
the top of your goals your adventure and your achievement in conclusion let
me give you one piece of poetry that sums up what a life of adventure should
be like and how you should feel you are now a seasoned warrior you bear the
scars of honorable battle and here is where you stand today the familiar words
of William Henley out of the darkness that covers me black as the pit from
pole to pole I thank whatever God’s may be for my unconquerable soul
in the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud under
the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody but unbowed it matters not how
Strait the gate nor charge to punishments the scroll I am the captain
of my fate I am the master of my soul from all of my staff and from myself
personally I want to thank you for listening let’s do something remarkable